Joined: 26 Dec 2004
Location: Calgary eh?
|Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 9:00 pm Post subject: Masters of the Universe
I was cruising around amazon.ca a while ago and an stumbled upon the live action He-Man movie "Masters of the Universe". I have known about this movie but never had the privilege of seeing it. Of course I was told that this was a blessing but the curiosity was still there. And what is this? on sale for 6.99? Sold!
Behold! Masters of the Universe Review (spoilers...be warned)
The basic story line according to the back of the dvd is as follows:
Planet Eternia and the Castle of Greyskull are under threat form the evil Skeletor, who wants to take over the planet. A group of freedom fighters led by the heroic He-Man are accidentally transported to Earth by a mysterious Cosmic Key which holds the power to make Skeletor all-powerful. Once on Earth He-Man joins alliances with two teenagers as they attempt to find the key and return home.
The movie opened with a little narrarator blah blah blah. Castle Greyskull is most powerful in universe yada yada. You know, a little background info for all those who were dragged into the theatre by there He-Man obsessed fans. Then they show Greyskull. Ok. It looked awesome. There was never a really good long close up but i will grant it the awesomeness. We then went into Castle Grayskull and find that Skeletor has taken over. (ever get that "did i miss something?" feeling?) I'm so proud Skeletor finally did it! The setting itself was actually pretty cool. I kept wondering why they didn't save it for the end as part of a finale you know?
I had to keep reminding myself that this is an 80s movie. His mask looked more like decaying white flesh then bone. Reminded me of those guys from the Star Trek movie who would get their faces stretched. He had a little hood, which he should so i was happy. When i finally got a close look of his staff you could tell instantly that it was Skeletors. Yay! He also had a cape...ok, well, a cape can make a villain more eviler so sure. He also had these...dangally things and all this other fabric and armour it was just a mess and he reminded me of a rag. Was hoping for more..skeleton. The outfit had potential but i got the robe feel over the supreme leader look.
In Castle Greyskull you get to hear of Skeletor's evil plan. Basically, steal all the power of Castle Greyskull from the Sorceress by sticking her in this forcefield thing which slowly drains her power. Then when the moon rises and the eye opens (still wondering about that eye thing) he will have all the powers of Castle Greyskull. Thats basically been Skeletors plan all along so go Skeletor.
No falcon reference at all. No Egypt reference or cobra reference. Just woman wearing white with a white crown and long white hair who pretty much stands in the same spot for the entire length of the movie. While she is in her little force field her power gets drained by Skeletor and she slowly ages. Reminds me of Gaia in "Summit to Save Earth"...
Another thing we find out is that Skeletor now has little Darth Vader Storm Troopers! Yay! His mass army of minions just sky-rocketed! I'm so proud of Skeltor at this moment! We eventually get to see what He-Man is off to. He is trying to save this fuzzy dude from the evil forces of Hordak! ...i mean Skeletor. Auto mode. Sorry. He is of course out numbered but he tries his hardest to fend them off with his sword! and his ray guy...and his other ray gun...and his little knife...But just as it looks like our hero has met his match Man-at-Arms and Teela come to his rescue.
What the hell happened to his fuzzy underwear? I mean i love his fuzzy underwear just because i find them hilarious. He also wears a cape now. A red one that doesn't really cover his shoulders. I had this horrible urge to put him behind a chariot. He also had all these extra straps for his ray guns. He did have his chest plate still along with shoulder pads/armor. And i kept thinking. Ok, cartoon he-man. Buff man with fuzzy underwear and a chest plate. Live action he man. Buff man with tight shorts that were lost in the bands straps, cape, chest plate and armor. I think all the girls in the audience got jipped.
He seemed older then i had pictured but mathematically it does make sence. I really liked his helmet though. Very Duncan like. I also liked how his character came across in the movie. Very soldier like but still warm and fuzzy. He also seemed...thin. I'm sorry, wern't all the guys in He-Man ripped? Girls are getting jipped again.
They kept her crown thing. yay! they put it on so it was on the other side of her head which i thought was a neat idea. And her hair was all...poofy. As in 80s poofy. I did see what else she was wearing...i think it was the right colour. I was just all distracted with the hair and the poof that the rest didn't really register.
Once the trio rescue the little fuzzy guy they find out that he has created a cosmic key which allows you to travel anywhere. Apparently Evil-Lynn stole it which let Skeletor raid Castle Greyskull. But all is not lost as he just so happens to have another one on hand. *sigh* They use it to get into Castle Greyskull to save the Sorceress and Eternia (oh yeah! he is taking over Eternia and not just Castle Greyskull. They get there, there is some fighting and while the fuzzy guy is trying to get the Sorceress out of her little prison they realize that they are out number, stick the cosmic key on random and run away. Ok, the DVD cover said it was an accident, nope, they bloody ran away. Oh and the cosmic key is actually this big thing that looks like a large metal glove. It has buttons that make noises and little fork type things that spin creating a portal to there locations.
They, of course, wind up on earth. The fuzzy guy uses a grapple at the last minute to grab the key before the portal closes but somehow...somehow it is not in the grapple when they reach the other side. It instead lands in a graveyard where it is picked up by Friends girl and Tom Paris. Our trio pairs up with this duo and later a police officer after missing each other a bunch of times, some fights, a fire and a considerable amount of property damage. The duo agrees to help out the trio get back to Eternia in time to save the Sorceress and stop Skeletor.
In the meantime, Skeletor has sent some of his henchmen to retrieve the other cosmic key and destroy he-man. One of them is this guy named Saurod who was all snake like and had like a breath helping thing. Coolest newest He-Man bad guy ever. But, since they failed (in that fight i mentioned, which was in an alley that gave me TMNT flashbacks..) Skeletor killed him. I mean, why him? He was cool! Skeletor then tries again only sends Evil-Lynn to make sure the job gets done. Of course she didn't want to go but she opened her mouth so Skeletor had to make her go. Very Skeletor like. I'm impessed.
Ok, there was a sale on capes. She actually wore her's properly (yes, there is a wrong and right way) and it was quite fitting. She had shown up prior to this but she is being mentioned now. She had these cool eyes and was very "kneel before me" in her manor. Yay! She totally missed the purple and black train and was instead white and gold. Teela's colouring? Weird, but ok. She even had a little head piece. Not as flamboyant as her previous one but what the hell.
Evil-Lynn succeeds in getting the Cosmic Key by using some of her magic (oh yeah, she is magical, nice of them to remember) and summons Skeletor. Skeletor then comes to earth (using his Cosmic Key) on this big ass floating thrown with a mass army of Darth Vader Storm Troopers. Yay! Earth invasion! Well, there is another fight. He-Man gets the Cosmic Key back but it gets destroyed, Friend girl is hit on the leg with Skeletor power (oh yeah, he is magical, nice for them to remember that) and He-Man surrenders and agrees to be Skeletor's slave in order to save his friends. Of course, He-Man gets carted into the portal in cuffs and when he is gone one of the minions asks Skeletor what he should do with He-Mans friends. Now any normal super villain would say "kill them". But no, Skeletor says "release them". Skeletor? No! Then both him and his Invasion Army got back to Eternia. He seems to have forgotten what an Invasion Army is. Your breaking my heart Skeletor.
We then go back to Eternia and He-Man gets chained up and stripped just to his shorts and boots. No cape means...Yay! cute butt shot! (it's my god give right as a chick). Skeletor then says "kneel before me as you watch me become the most powerful ruler of them all". And He-Man doesn't kneel. Let me get this straight. Skeletor held up his end of the bargain but He-Man who has agreed to be Skeletors slave and by slave i mean doing whatever he is told is not doing what he is told? ... ... ... ... ...
Meanwhile on Earth. The other guys get the thing working again. They make some sort of "you are a master of the universe" and a "music is the key to the world" gibber jabber. Before they and half of the pink car they've been driving around get back to Eternia.
But it is to late! As Skeletor has fused with the powers of Grayskull and is now in Gold Armor! FEAR HIM! Oh, and when Skeletor was getting all powerful they flashed to Evil-Lynn and I expected her to stab him in the back and take all his powers for herself but no. *disappointed* He-Man breaks loose, grabs his sword, does the "I HAVE THE POWER" thing (about time!) fights with Skeletor reverts him back to regular black Skeletor...still a little hazzy on how that happened and beat him by having him fall into the pits of Grayskull.
Next thing you know the Sorceress is free...how? and alive...why? and young...huh? Friends girl is saved...wait what? I know the sorceress could save her but..what? The sorceress gives a stone to Friend girl "Eternia will always be nearbye" and both her and Tom Paris go back to Earth. Only he has the stone instead of her...?...The end (with Skeletor coming out alive after the credits)
Overall. Not a bad movie. Could have been better. Orko, Cringer, Prince Adam, King Randor or a cool Eternian beast would have been cool. Less plot holes would have been nice. And He-Man actually using his strength. I think he used it once and he never did any fist fighting or anything. Just...ray guns and when he ran out of those his sword. It was very Star Wars meets Ninja Turtles meets the Never Ending story. I think of how awesome Skeletor could have been now with CGI. Cool man. Cool.
The dvd comes with an audio commentary (which i am excited about viewing), the trailer which gave away the whole story. And Character profiles (slide show, no pics from cartoon).
Joined: 04 May 2008